Jeff & Will’s Romance

The Meet Cute

We met for the first time in September 1993. Jeff had been in California for barely three months and had been encouraged by a co-worker to get involved in community theatre. The first thing was to usher several performances of Jesus Christ Superstar. The next was to have a walk-on in Lettice and Lovage. This is where we first encountered each other as Will was the light board operator.

After that there were many “hellos” and “nice to see you agains” at theatre events over the next two years.

In March 1995 we got cast together in It Runs in The Family. Jeff played a ditzy doctor and Will played a rebellious 20-something in this farce set in a hospital. We quickly discovered we had lots in common: a love of ABBA, movies, 70s television and more.

Will took it upon himself to find out more about Jeff by asking our mutual friend, Clint, for details.

Meanwhile Jeff was doing the same thing, except he didn’t know that Will was going to make a move first.

On May 1, 1995, we met up to take in a showing of the remake of Village of the Damned at the Eureka Theater. Afterwards we walked back to Jeff’s car, parked at the corner of 7th and F streets and talked for hours (sometime after midnight). Finally Jeff said he had to go because he had work the next morning and even had things to do before bed to prepare for the next day.

It was then that Will finally said what had been on his mind: “Will you go out with me?”

That led to another flurry of talking and we became a couple — albeit a quiet one. We spent tons of time together after that night talking and getting to know each other more. Clint was thrilled that we’d decided to go out and we were quickly becoming the talk of our friends as we were seen everywhere together.

We finally went public sometime around late May/early June with our relationship and we’ve been inseparable ever since.

After more than six months of getting to know one another and “going out,” we decided to move in together. We signed the lease for our first home on Valentine’s Day 1996.

On May 1, 1996, Jeff brought Will back to the corner of 7th and F, proposed marriage and put a ring on his finger.

Wedding Planning

In late October 1996 we decided to get married in September of the following year. After messing around with dates for a few months we decided on Saturday, September 6. Next came the decision of where to get married. After many decisions and changed minds, we settled on the Ferndale Rep because it was were we met and beyond that, it was free. With the Rep set came a date change because a show was closing on September 6. Hence, hasty calls were made to all involved thus far to get the date changed to September 7. Now everything was full steam ahead.

We had a wonderful book to guide us, The Essential Guide to Lesbian and Gay Weddings. We read that book front to back–sometimes in the car to each other during road trips. It helped us get things lined up, caterer, a place for the reception, when to mail invitations, etc. It also helped us with the basic things like setting up a guest list.

We were pretty calm during the whole planning, no fights (maybe a few snippy comments here and there, but nothing major), no disagreements over food or who to invite. It was a fairly smooth undertaking.

About a month before our ceremony, our friend, and wedding coordinator, Bonnie, threw us a bachelor-bachelor party. Our shower had a Hawaii theme since that’s a progressive state where we might actually be able to get married someday. We got many excellent gifts, including some 100 small bottles of bubbles (a gift from Bonnie) that would be used in our ceremony instead of rice.

It was also this time we got to learn first hand about the kindness of strangers. Even in late July we were still struggling on where to have the reception. We’d finally settled on our caterer’s house (we know him very well). But then the caterer was visiting a friend who ran the shop next door to the theatre. Here was a perfect place — trees, flowers, close proximity and lots of space. The shop owner let us use his backyard for an extremely reasonable fee.

The only other major trauma we had came with the cake top. It’s hard to find something that is “just right” for a cake that involves two grooms (or at least it was back then). So Jeff hit the Internet one night, just 10 days before the ceremony, in hopes of finding a miracle. And there it was: Family Celebrations (sadly, they have since gone out of business). The company specializes in wedding stuff for gay and lesbian couples. After an e-mail and a couple of phone calls, a personalized, cut glass cake top was in the works. It was (and still is) gorgeous.

Now all we had to do with sit back, keep count of the RSVPs and wait for the out-of-town guests to arrive (including Jeff’s mom from Alabama, Will’s parents from Oregon and friends from as far away as Idaho, Palm Springs and South Florida). By our count 80 or so people attended the ceremony and reception.

The Ceremony

We were extremely blessed on Sunday, September 7, 1997. It was a beautiful day: no clouds, mild temperature. It was perfect. As we arrived at theatre, the cast of Godspell was tearing down their set and Bonnie and her crew were getting our items in place.

We were perfectly calm during the setup process and through the photos (we did photos ahead of the ceremony so afterwards we could go straight to the party). It was during the half-hour wait 1:30 and 2 that we got nervous. We sat up in the light booth watching everyone arrive and it hit us that there were a LOT of people at this thing. We were happy to see them of course, but it was nerve racking since they were all there to see us.

We must, once again, thank our supporting players who made our wedding day so special: our parents, officiant Clint Rebik, Best People David & Robin LaBounty (for Jeff) and Peggy Metzger and Chris Jioras (for Will), Soloists Stacey Bareilles and Sara Bareilles.

Here’s a look at our ceremony:

Prelude music:
“Total Eclipse of the Heart” – Bonnie Tyler
“Evergreen” – Barbra Streisand
Theme from “Laverne & Shirley”
“The Rose” – Bette Midler
“Chapel of Love” – Bette Midler
Theme from “The Facts of Life”
“Kiss from a Rose” – Seal
“Seasons of Love” – The Broadway Cast of Rent
Theme from “Wonder Woman”
“Do You Know Where You’re Going To” – Diana Ross
“The Way Old Friends Do” – The London Symphony and Pop Choir Processional:
“Bridal Dancing Queen” – from Muriel’s Wedding

Solo:
“Waterloo” – Stacey Bareilles

Welcome
Clint Rebik

Words from the Best People
David LaBounty, Robin LaBounty, Peggy Metzger, Chris Jioras

On Love & Commitment
Clint Rebik

Duet
“I’ll Cover You” – Stacey Bareilles & Sara Bareilles

Vows and the Exchange of Rings

Presentation of the Couple

Recessional
“Dancing Queen” – The San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus

The Happily Ever After

We moved from Eureka to New York City in December 1998 and initially lived in Brooklyn followed by a May 2002 move into lower Manhattan.

We became legally married in the State of New York on October 19, 2011 with a City Hall ceremony.

We moved back to California in 2014 and the HEA continues…